What is Intuitive Eating?
What is Intuitive Eating? Does Intuitive Eating work? Also how intuitive eating changed my life.
Overall, to me Intuitive Eating is getting back to your inner intuition and knowledge when it comes to food, eating, and connecting to your body. I say "getting back to" because I believe that everyone is born as an intuitive eater and then as we grow up in the society that we do, we can lose the ability to connect with that inner knowledge and body cues.
How does this happen?
I think the way that it happens is going to be unique for everyone. I also don't want to place blame on any one place. Often times the feeding rituals that we had growing up had the best of intentions, they just might not be how our body wants to naturally operate.
I will give a few examples from my own story.
I grew up in household that was a proud member of the Clean Plate Club. Meaning that I could have no dessert or leave the table until every morsel on my plate was gone, including the boiled spinach with no seasonings and the gigantic glass of milk. Again, not to place blame but I grew up partially with my grandmother, a woman who grew up in The Great Depression and the era of food recommendations like everything cooked with no salt, no fat and that you should drink 2-3 glasses per day of cow's milk to build strong bones (hence the earlier example). This in turn caused be to get the message that even if I was full, the portion that I was given was the right amount for me, dessert was a treat that I only deserve under certain circumstances and vegetables are a disgusting punishment. I also now know the stomach ache I had from drinking dairy was because I was lactose intolerant, not because I was getting too little fiber.
Again, I am telling this story with compassion and understanding towards my grandmother because she was doing what she thought was right and healthy. Of course in retrospect I can see how many of these messages backfired and I had to re-learn and develop a lot of new relationships with foods and my body cues in my adult life.
This is a common thing that I help clients with, though the details will be different. Often times, there are circumstances that causes us to not know how to listen to our bodies anymore, or caused us to think our bodies were broken in some way because they don't do what we want them to do, ie. diet, lose weight, eat no sugar, crave plain boiled spinach, etc.
This is where I see Intuitive Eating come in. When we start to understand our origin stories with food and our bodies we can start to understand where we received the messages that we have today. It's not that your body is broken or needs to be fixed, it's more of a re-learning patterns that work better for you and your body.
It is about re-learning your hunger and fullness cues so at any one time your body tells you what portion of food works best. It is about making vegetables delicious so that not only do you crave them, but they are a staple of the meal because they feel good in your body, and not used as punishment. You have dessert after dinner most times, but sometimes not, because it just doesn't sound that appetizing, but you have that choice because you know it's available to you whenever you want it. You've switched to oat milk and know that you are getting plenty of calcium because it's fortified and you now love spinach.
I definitely don't want to over simplify this process or say it happens overnight. It's complicated, confusing and emotionally uncomfortable a lot of the time. Food is not just food. We are complex humans that have complex feelings and emotions and thoughts about food. But I can say that it's worth it. It's worth every bit of the process because you give yourself the ability to trust your body again. I don't want to sound like a cheesy credit card commercial but to me, this is priceless.
Katy Gaston Nutrition
Katy is a registered dietitian nutritionist and owner of Katy Gaston Nutrition based in San Francisco, CA. Katy is passionate about her work in eating disorders and disordered eating (AKA dieting) and wants to help people heal their relationship with food and body. If you would like to work with Katy in counseling sessions, she is available virtually via her services page below. If you are unable to be a client at this time but would like learn more, click here for a free introduction into intuitive eating workbook!
Pros and Cons of Dieting
An eating disorder dietitian’s take on the pros and cons of dieting. Yes, I will be biased but also open-minded to what we seek when we seek diets.
Defining dieting…
Ah, dieting. To clarify right off the bat that when I say dieting I mean fad diets and trends as a whole.
First I want to say that in the non-diet/anti-diet/screw-diet-culture space I know there can be just as many extremes as the weight loss/dieting side. A lot of what I have been thinking about is bringing the grey into this. That there are not opposing sides, but different approaches. Personally, recovering from my eating disorder saved my life in a multitude of ways and so I am strongly in the camp of f*ck diet culture. At the same time, I try to hold lots of space for those that aren’t as strongly in that camp. My mission is to help repair people’s relationships to their bodies and the foods they eat. I want to help people to see what is going on biologically when it comes to binging, weight gain and other situations that chronic dieting and having and eating disorder can lead you to. So I want to talk today on the pros and cons of dieting from my perspective.
(Side note: I am obviously going to be biased which I feel like was the point of what I was writing above. But in that bias, I want to be realistic and open-minded where I want to approach it from a less harsh place than the messaging can sometimes come across. Because first and foremost I want to say that I employ the non-diet approach because I am against diet culture but I am NOT against those who diet. If I was against dieters, I would be actively shutting out the very people that I want to be available to if they want to try something new.)
Pros and Cons of Dieting
Dieting Pro: You feel a sense of connectedness. This could be with fellow people that are also on the same diet, or with just people in general. Since dieting and weight loss are so common if you throw out the phrase “I’m trying to be good, I just started a diet.” you will likely be overwhelmed with camaraderie by people who are also trying to diet. Words of encouragement and empathy are common. Also the pursuit of weight loss is seen as the “healthiest” thing you can do for yourself, so if you say you are trying to lose weight, you will likely be met with praise. (I just want it noted that I do not agree that weight loss is the golden goose of health.)
Dieting Con: You think that if it doesn’t “work” for you, that you are broken. There is no proven effective method for weight loss in the long term. This is because our bodies are still primal, weight loss could mean death. Also, our bodies don’t keep up on the latest beauty standards so it is not going to be on board with altering the shape of your body in ways that are unnatural to you just because you want it to. It’s trying to protect you from dying. You are not broken, dieting is just not natural.
Dieting Pro: You pay more attention to food. As a dietitian I’m going to think this is cool. Being interested in what we are eating, what foods we are purchasing, holding companies accountable for their ingredients, preparing meals for ourselves and others can all be positive things.
Dieting Con: To follow up to the point above, the problem is it can go too far very quickly. There is a point with food where I think too much knowledge hiders us rather than helps us. I see it all the time where people cross the line into being so stressed about eating the “right” thing that I have to stop them and say “when did stressing about food become okay when we know that stress in general does not do ourselves any good?” Marketing is always going to want to give you a solution to a problem. In my opinion, diet culture created the problem where they made us think we don’t know what to eat. So then they can come in with names like “perfect bar”, “smart pop”, “enlightened ice cream” and create commercials where perfect looking individuals are eating their products and you think “oh, if I eat that, I will be perfect too!”
Dieting Pro: Sometimes the starting intentions are good. You want to be healthier. You want to be able to run around with your dog. You want to set a good example for your kids of a balanced diet. You want to do right by yourself and your body.
Dieting Con: Dieting further disconnects us from listening to our body’s internal cues and needs rather than brings us closer. Even the diets that try to use their marketing to say otherwise (cough Whole30 cough), I often see having the opposite effect because at the end of the day, if you are restricting, it will lead to adverse effects. Sometimes the health goals that we start off with become less and less about true health and what that means to us as individuals.
Dieting Pro: The answer is simple, and it is weight loss. Go to the doctor for knee pain - weight loss. Tired? Weight loss. Sad? Weight loss. Lonely? Weight loss. Poor body image? Weight loss. Inflammation? Weight loss. Asthma? Weight loss. The answer is simple so it feels like you *know* exactly what you need to do to have your wildest dreams come true. In a life full of uncertainty, this level of “knowing” is very intoxicating.
Dieting Con: Again, to address the pro above - unfortunately this idea that weight loss can be the answer to everything is too, a lie. Happiness, health, overall well-being, positive body image, confidence - these are actually all very complicated that will not be something you will ever “arrive” at. They will be daily practices that will not have simple solutions. I want to recognize that thin-privilege is very real and I am not trying to say that it isn’t. But the answer is so much more complicated than ‘anyone that does not have that privilege should lose weight and all will be okay’. Think of all the other ways that one might have privilege and think what the “simple” solutions others would have to do in order to have those privileges. That’s the point, that’s why is is called a privilege. Thin-privilege should be thought of in the same way because we have a generic blue print of what size our body is going to naturally be. Sure we can go to extremeness to alter it, but if weight loss is one of those extremes, it might not actually be possible because of the ways our bodies are designed. So holding space to accept all body shapes and sizes allows people to exist just as they are, without having to kill themselves over pursuing weight loss.
Katy Gaston Nutrition
Katy is a registered dietitian nutritionist and owner of Katy Gaston Nutrition based in San Francisco, CA. Katy is passionate about her work in eating disorders and disordered eating (AKA dieting) and wants to help people heal their relationship with food and body. If you would like to work with Katy in counseling sessions, she is available virtually via her services page below. If you are unable to be a client at this time but would like learn more, click here for a free introduction into intuitive eating workbook!
When You Want to Stop Dieting, For Good
You’re fed up with dieting. You want to break the cycle of diet after diet after diet. Some of them “work” for awhile and then stop. What is the alternative to this?
I have been thinking lately how so much of our lives are leaps of faith and really it is more the norm than we think. We really have much less control than we want to believe, something that can be both scary and exhilarating.
Where does this concept come into play with healing from disordered eating, eating disorders or just repairing your relationship with food and body? I say it all the time, society and its constructions as we know it are very anti-recovery. We have normalized disordered eating patterns, disliking and disconnecting from our bodies and the never-ending quest for weight loss. So when people come to me and say “I can’t do this anymore, I want to stop dieting.” They are taking a huge, brave, leap of faith. They want new, positive patterns with the way that they eat. They want to be able to exist in their bodies without constantly feeling ashamed. They want to stop this toxic cycle of pursuing weight loss that is only causing them to misunderstand and hate the way their body functions.
So much of the work I do with clients is to show another side, another idea. Another way to both pursue health and accept yourself just as you are. To have compassion for yourself and create sustainable routines. But this all takes lots of leaps of faith, both large and small.
When we are in the midst of an eating disorder or disordered eating our relationship and connection with our bodies is either severed or misunderstood. To learn to trust our bodies again is to learn to trust ourselves. This trust looks like being able to tune into hunger and fullness cues with neutral curiosity. It looks like allowing ourselves to enjoy the foods that taste good without guilt. To be able to have routines with less rigidity and more adaptability. But to get there takes a leap of faith because everything around you will tell you to not trust yourself. To use external factors like Calories, portion sizes and timing to control your intake. A scale to determine if you give a gold star or punish yourself depending on what it says in that moment in time. The camaraderie that dieting with your friends and family provides. The familiarity of this cycle of “failing” a diet, starting a new one with pronounced gusto to have it “work” for awhile and then “fail” again.
What I ask of my clients is something I have had to experience myself. To wade into unknown waters of unconditional permission to eat food and re-learn how to approach helpful things like eating vegetables and exercise but not from a disordered place. A leap of faith to give up this pursuit of weight loss and the fallacy of perfection, guaranteed love and ultimate happiness that it provides.
It feels like the world will crumble at your feet. It feels like you are clinging to a life raft in the ocean with people standing on the shore yelling “Let go! You’re safe now, you can swim to shore!” but that feels terrifying. I get it, it is really really hard. But when you do, when you take those first little mini leaps of faith that probably feel more like teeny baby steps, it will grow. The fire inside your soul. Who you are outside of this need to control the world around you. Your creativity, passion and joy. That is what I see happen before my eyes when I work with my clients, and it is incredibly powerful and beautiful. Because you are incredibly powerful, beautiful and brave to take that vulnerable leap into something new.
Katy Gaston Nutrition
Katy is a registered dietitian nutritionist and owner of Katy Gaston Nutrition based in San Francisco, CA. Katy is passionate about her work in eating disorders and disordered eating (AKA dieting) and wants to help people heal their relationship with food and body. If you would like to work with Katy in counseling sessions, she is available virtually via her services page below. If you are unable to be a client at this time but would like learn more, click here for a free introduction into intuitive eating workbook!
How To Be Healthy, From a Dietitian Nutritionist
Health is complex and the pursuit of health can leave you with more questions than answers. What are the benefits of seeing a dietitian nutritionist for health?
“Help me be healthy!”
Whether from clients, co-workers or any stranger that hears what I do for a living, this is one of the most common requests I get after “how can I lose weight?”
This question is always interesting to be because it is so complex, yet we throw around the word “healthy” like we are all supposed to know what it means. So what does it mean?
The definition of health used to be simply the “absence of illness” but now has rightly been corrected to mean so much more. Health involves so many things including your social and physical environment, your access to food and healthcare, the oppressions you face. It is a mental, physical and emotional embodiment. Health is both individual and involves the environment around you.
So why do people constantly ask dietitian nutritionists to make them healthy?
With so much media messaging and marketing around food, bodies and health it makes sense to me why this is everyone’s goal. However, this can be a very dangerous way to try and create a positive outcome for yourself because it often involves a perfectionistic idea of what health means. Because like perfection, if we think of health as a goal to seek, we will never get there. We will never be perfectly healthy. NEVER. Because we are human. Perfection is not in our nature or DNA, sorry not sorry. So why do I say it’s dangerous? This idea of perfect health can lead us to disordered patterns with food and our body because perfection cannot be obtained yet we shame, chastise and berate ourselves when it isn’t.
I believe that our western society definition of what is healthy is warped. We think low weight, clean eating and constantly going to the gym is our ticket. Where is reality, our bodies can determine what the best weight for us is. Eating routinely and happily might be our key. Enjoying the movement that feels best and right for our bodies is where we shine. We understand that chronic stress wears down our bodies, but what about the chronic stress of trying to control our weight, eat the exact right thing and workout even when our bodies are begging us to stop?
Where is health that includes the pleasure and joy we can get from food. The hug from a loved one. The walk through the park to hear the birds sing. The security of knowing where your next meal is. The nurse listening to your when you say you don’t want to know what your weight is. Taking time from work when need rest.
Health is complex.
I understand why we want to pursue it and I also know that not everyone has the same privileges. When we have this narrow view (AKA perfection) of what health can be we cause harm to ourselves and others. We judge ourselves and others for their choices where they might not be choices at all. It becomes right and wrong instead of nuances and individual.
There are no set parameters, no target to reach or gold medal to obtain. You can expand what your definition of health is for you.
Katy Gaston Nutrition
Katy is a registered dietitian nutritionist and owner of Katy Gaston Nutrition based in San Francisco, CA. Katy is passionate about her work in eating disorders and disordered eating (AKA dieting) and wants to help people heal their relationship with food and body. If you would like to work with Katy in counseling sessions, she is available virtually via her services page below. If you are unable to be a client at this time but would like learn more, click here for a free introduction into intuitive eating workbook!
How To Respond To Diet Talk
Seeing people in person again can be a bit of an adjustment. How to cope, navigate and respond to diet talk when it arises.
We are still very much in the midst of a global pandemic…
As we go into a time where we are seeing more of our friends and family there can be a lot of diet talk. If you are trying to recover from an eating disorder or seeking the path of a non-diet life, how do you navigate these comments and questions?
First I just want to say that it is a weird time right now in general. Here in the US and especially in California, life is starting to “open up” again. We are starting to come out of our houses, go back to the office, see groups of friends and family, and go to events. This can be nerve-wracking and an adjustment just like when we were going into lockdown (and all the changes that happened inside of that.) As part of this adjustment, we might be seeing people in person that we haven’t in a long time and we might be more self-conscious because we have gotten used to being on video from the comfort of our homes.
How do I respond to diet talk?
Since we all have varying comfort levels depending on our mood, personality and context I have included categories of “soft” and “bold” responses, but one is not better than the other. You need to protect your energy first and foremost.
Comment: Wow, you look great! Did you lose weight??
Soft: Thanks, I’m not sure, I don’t track that.
Bold: I’m actually healing my relationship with food and my body that doesn’t include monitoring my weight so maybe that is what you are noticing!
Wow, you are eating so healthy, good for you.
Soft: I try to eat a little bit of everything!
Bold: Actually when I changed my mindset in knowing no good or bad foods it opened me up to so much variety! I’m craving a salad right now and definitely going for dessert later because it looks delicious.
Do you work out? If I ate like you I would gain so much weight.
Soft: Mmm. [changes subject] So how has the new dog been?
Bold: I’ve healed my relationship with my body and food so I enjoy joyful movement when I want. I’m not afraid of weight gain because I trust my body will figure out what weight it needs to be. I also know fear of weight gain is ingrained in us but I’ve been working on un-learning fat-phobia instead.
My friend just lost a bunch of weight on this new diet! Let me send you the book title, I think it could be good for you.
Soft: I’ve actually stopped dieting for a bit, thanks though.
Bold: I know that I tried a bunch of diets in the past that didn’t work but it turns out I actually needed to heal my eating disorder instead!
Someone looks hungry, what a big plate!
Soft: Yep.
Bold: Funny, I didn’t feel the need to comment on your plate of food.
Come-on, finish off the mashed potatoes! I don’t want them to go to waste.
Soft: Thank you but like I said I’m really full.
Bold: Definitely won’t go to waste, I’ll take them home with me because I am too full right now.
Ugh my thighs are so big, diet starts on Monday for sure.
Soft: I had parts of myself that I haven’t liked either but I’m choosing to send them some love instead!
Bold: We are some smart, passionate and funny ladies, isn’t there something else we could talk about besides what we hate about our bodies and dieting?
Navigating diet talk might seem like a never-ending battle. But like I said always put your energy first and see what you have the energy for. You are also not alone <3.
Katy Gaston Nutrition
Katy is a registered dietitian nutritionist and owner of Katy Gaston Nutrition based in San Francisco, CA. Katy is passionate about her work in eating disorders and disordered eating (AKA dieting) and wants to help people heal their relationship with food and body. If you would like to work with Katy in counseling sessions, she is available virtually via her services page below. If you are unable to be a client at this time but would like learn more, click here for a free introduction into intuitive eating workbook!