How To Respond To Diet Talk
We are still very much in the midst of a global pandemic…
As we go into a time where we are seeing more of our friends and family there can be a lot of diet talk. If you are trying to recover from an eating disorder or seeking the path of a non-diet life, how do you navigate these comments and questions?
First I just want to say that it is a weird time right now in general. Here in the US and especially in California, life is starting to “open up” again. We are starting to come out of our houses, go back to the office, see groups of friends and family, and go to events. This can be nerve-wracking and an adjustment just like when we were going into lockdown (and all the changes that happened inside of that.) As part of this adjustment, we might be seeing people in person that we haven’t in a long time and we might be more self-conscious because we have gotten used to being on video from the comfort of our homes.
How do I respond to diet talk?
Since we all have varying comfort levels depending on our mood, personality and context I have included categories of “soft” and “bold” responses, but one is not better than the other. You need to protect your energy first and foremost.
Comment: Wow, you look great! Did you lose weight??
Soft: Thanks, I’m not sure, I don’t track that.
Bold: I’m actually healing my relationship with food and my body that doesn’t include monitoring my weight so maybe that is what you are noticing!
Wow, you are eating so healthy, good for you.
Soft: I try to eat a little bit of everything!
Bold: Actually when I changed my mindset in knowing no good or bad foods it opened me up to so much variety! I’m craving a salad right now and definitely going for dessert later because it looks delicious.
Do you work out? If I ate like you I would gain so much weight.
Soft: Mmm. [changes subject] So how has the new dog been?
Bold: I’ve healed my relationship with my body and food so I enjoy joyful movement when I want. I’m not afraid of weight gain because I trust my body will figure out what weight it needs to be. I also know fear of weight gain is ingrained in us but I’ve been working on un-learning fat-phobia instead.
My friend just lost a bunch of weight on this new diet! Let me send you the book title, I think it could be good for you.
Soft: I’ve actually stopped dieting for a bit, thanks though.
Bold: I know that I tried a bunch of diets in the past that didn’t work but it turns out I actually needed to heal my eating disorder instead!
Someone looks hungry, what a big plate!
Soft: Yep.
Bold: Funny, I didn’t feel the need to comment on your plate of food.
Come-on, finish off the mashed potatoes! I don’t want them to go to waste.
Soft: Thank you but like I said I’m really full.
Bold: Definitely won’t go to waste, I’ll take them home with me because I am too full right now.
Ugh my thighs are so big, diet starts on Monday for sure.
Soft: I had parts of myself that I haven’t liked either but I’m choosing to send them some love instead!
Bold: We are some smart, passionate and funny ladies, isn’t there something else we could talk about besides what we hate about our bodies and dieting?
Navigating diet talk might seem like a never-ending battle. But like I said always put your energy first and see what you have the energy for. You are also not alone <3.
Katy Gaston Nutrition
Katy is a registered dietitian nutritionist and owner of Katy Gaston Nutrition based in San Francisco, CA. Katy is passionate about her work in eating disorders and disordered eating (AKA dieting) and wants to help people heal their relationship with food and body. If you would like to work with Katy in counseling sessions, she is available virtually via her services page below. If you are unable to be a client at this time but would like learn more, click here for a free introduction into intuitive eating workbook!