Self Care, the Latest Buzzword?

First I would like to start on what I think the definition of self care is because I think that it can get a little lost, especially now that companies have picked it up as a marketing buzz-word.

To me, self care can be anything that recharges you. Everyone is a little different so it could be exercise, sitting in the park, painting, getting you hair done, swimming in the ocean, gardening, playing with your dog, building something, etc. I think there is also an element of rebellion that can come with self care. In this western society there is a culture of hustle, individuality and perfectionism. To which rest, vulnerability and being a human can be rebellious acts. This is where I think eating can come in as a rebellious act of self care.

So how does eating play into this?

When we think about it, eating should be the most instinctual thing we do. Along with sleeping, drinking fluids and practicing safety measures (ie. not getting hit by a car or eating poisonous mushrooms) it is the thing we do every day to keep ourselves alive. So why is it so confusing and sometimes so hard to do?

Because we humans are complex creatures with emotions, memories, social influences and preferences. We have seemingly endless access to overwhelming amounts of information and opinions. Along with all this information, there is $$$ to be had. Each time that a company, magazine article, program, etc can plant a seed of doubt that you don’t know how to feed yourself, they can come in with The Answer. I also want to pause for a second and point out that this is coming from a dietitian, a profession where I literally learned all about how to nourish a human body. If eating is so instinctual, why should you need me, a dietitian, to tell you what to eat?

First I would like to say that this is a major misconception about what I do. I actually don’t want to tell you what to eat. I am more interested in helping you facilitate a relationship with your body so that you can listen to those instincts. Where I do use my degree is when I’m working with people with disease states like allergies, kidney failure, diabetes, etc because there are important food and nutritional components to that. When I think about my work with eating disorders and disordered eating I think of it as a way to help people weed through the noise of nutritional marketing and fear mongering and provide the actual science. So much more of it though is giving permission. Permission to eat when you are hungry. Permission to have your favorite foods. Permission to gain weight. Permission to listen to your body.

If we think about the typical meals, we usually feed ourselves 3 times a day, maybe with some snacks in between. When did this concept become so radical and so out of the norm? To me, it is when weight loss became the gold star indicator of health (which it’s not) and the fear mongering that is the “o*esity epidemic” that was deemed to be running rampant throughout the US (which was wildly misrepresented). Starving ourselves, “hacking” our internal body cues, cutting out entire food groups like carbohydrates or fats, taking laxatives, throwing up after meals, drinking water instead of eating lunch, exercising three hours a day (when we aren’t professional athletes); when did this all become the norm?

I will have to admit, sometimes I get self-conscious about giving up on diet culture. Usually I can ward off remarks about what I am eating or my body with comments like “I am a dietitian that works with eating disorders so actually I don’t really follow the diet trends” or “I don’t know if I’ve lost weight, I don’t track that.” People will comment on if I am eating a salad “Oh you’re so good!” or if I am eating chocolate “Wow, the dietitian eating candy, didn’t think I would see that!” I have to admit sometimes it gets tiring. It feels like I am swimming upstream all the time because not engaging in diet culture is going against established norms. But then I remember that every time I eat when I am hungry, I am standing my ground. Every time I eat a donut or a salad because my body is telling me that is what I need, I am engaging in self-care. Every time I go for the full fat yogurt or the vegan ranch dip because that is what I want vs what I think I should have, it is self care.

Feed yourselves, I give you permission.

I won’t even say that you deserve to eat, because that shouldn’t even be in the conversation. You ALWAYS deserve to eat, no matter the circumstances. Eating is as fundamental as breathing. If we were on “oxygen deprivation cleanse” or working towards taking less breaths in a day, people would look at us like we were in a cult. Eating is no different. Eating when I am hungry, trying out a new baked good recipe, discovering a new favorite restaurant are amongst the things that bring me joy. These are my self care.

Though sometimes it is hard, I will continue to stand my ground that I will always and forever, deserve to eat - and you do too.